Back to the sanity

If I urged anyone by the previous post to reach for the phone and call the mental house, you can postpone the restraining jacket just for now, I'm much better now :) Needed to let some steam out. Now can breathe again, though not really, it's very warm outside and no air movement.

I have not seen my sugars today lower than 14, yes fourteen! taking more and more insulin with every hour, hardly ate any carbs today but the stubborn meter shows the same numbers and my throat desperately demanding water all the time.

It's only TWO days left till the pump!!! How happy am I? I don't expect miracles but it definitely can't get any worse. Oh, no more shots on almost every 2 hours basis (yes, it's been that bad for me lately), no more alarm at 3 at night for testing and taking insulin, no more trips to the ladies' at work for injections, no more "can anyone remember if I took my Lantus?", just no more.

Though there will be: oh dear summer clothes, where can I stick my pump on you? how the hell don't I get suffocated by all the tubing at night? what do I tell people when I suddenly start beeping or vibrating or have to reach under my skirt or in my bra? how not to kill the romance with the whole scene of equipment sticking out and hanging on me? does the color of the shoes suppose to match the color of the pump? - ok, that one is a joke but I'm totally serious about all the previous questions.

Oh and this I totally stole from Allison:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Are my eyes open because I don't see much. When eyes open: ha, not so bad.

2. How much cash do you have on you? ehm, no idea, some, enough for lunch and parking.

3. What's a word that rhymes with DOOR? Something dirty came to mind and not entirely appropriate, so I'll go with floor.

4. Favorite planet? Well, Earth, I live here, it's pretty cool.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Unknown. That unknown has been calling for the whole day like 20 times in total, and whenever I pick up, he or she just hangs up.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? Changes all the time. Currently I have a song by Ashley Simpson "L.O.V.E."

7. What shirt are you wearing? It's a cute black summer top.

8. Do you label yourself? No.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing: Zara. ok, don't laugh, I usually have more expensive shoes on my feet, but these particular ones are so cute and comfortable. They're summer shoes, checked of black, beige and a bit golden colors with two cute black ribbons.

10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright, full of sunshine.

11. Why is there always a missing question? Why is there always a missing answer?

12. What does your watch look like? It's a black, round, rather big one from Guess with lots of bling-bling all around.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching the first dream.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? "Ha, ha! See you soon. Love you! xxx"

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? I don't think they exist in the Netherlands, so I'm guessing the nearest is going to be in England.

16. What's a word that you say a lot? For instance - that's two, but I say that a lot, people even make fun of it.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? My boyfriend this morning before leaving for work.

18. Last furry thing you touched? Sema, my cat, the furriest :)

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Let's see, insulin obviously and some stuff for the killing headache.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? who develops film?

21. Favorite age you have been so far? from 4 (earliest I can remember) till 9 (at 9 I got diagnosed) and from 20 up till now has been almost perfect with the huge exception of 22 - confusing?

22. Your worst enemy? Myself

23. What is your current desktop picture? A funny one of me and my cat.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Stop putting your tail in my coke." to my cat, who did you think?

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, what would it be? Million, I'm afraid of heights.

26. Do you like someone? Many people. As a particular someone? Yes, my boyfriend, which is lucky considering that he and I live together ;)

27. The last song you listened to? One by Glukoza

28. What time of day were you born? Somewhere around 11pm on Friday may I add.

29. What's your favorite number? 7, also 17 as it is a lucky one for me.

30. Where did you live in 1987? I was 5, so a safe answer would be with my parents :) in Surgut, that's in Siberia in Russia.

31. Are you jealous of anyone? Healthy people.

32. Is anyone jealous of you? I wish not but I know for sure some are.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? Just started university, one of the first days after classes, all of us saw the terrible news on one of the TVs in the hall of the uni.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Give them some more - pathetic, I know.

35. Do you consider yourself kind? Yes I do.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? Never wanted one, so can't tell.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Dutch would be nice, as I live in the Netherlands, also French and German, they are just convenient to know for work.

38. Would you move for the person you loved? I did, although I rather stayed than moved, and he did as well, so it was a compromise, but yes I would.

39. Are you touchy-feely? Only with my boyfriend for the rest quite opposite. Shocks me every time when a stranger touches my arm or my back.

40. What's your life motto? Live. And I mean live and not exist, live as being happy, learning, enjoying, feeling, experiencing, finding one self. For the rest: "everything is possible if you really want something", "be true to yourself" and "find what you want, otherwise you're forced to like what you don't want".

41. Name three things you have on you at all times: At all times is not possible, but most of the times on me - clothes, my rings and earrings, with me - insulin, meter and phone.

42. What's your favorite town/city? I love Moscow, Paris, Prague and of course The Hague, as I live here.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? My lunch at work.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Oh my, years and years ago, back in high school I think to my best friend who moved to England for studying.

45. Can you change the oil on a car? Oil, no, putting petrol in is as far as I go.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? He's at work, very busy, going to be home around 7. I never loved before my current boyfriend appeared in the picture, as for the crushes, back at high school, the only thing I know is that he turned into a very nasty person over the years.

47. How far back do you know your ancestry? Not far, not further than great-great-grandmothers.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? Probably last New Year's. It's a family tradition always to dress fancy for the new years. A skirt with roses pattern and a black top, I also had a matching jacket for the skirt but it was too warm. But than again I dress quite fancy for work on a daily basis, same skirts and dresses.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? One of my feet, I have been sitting on it for the last hour.

50. Have you ever been burned by love? Who hasn't?

51. Do you have a crush on any bloggers? I'm not gonna tell :)

52. Where would you like to live? Same place as I live now, but I'd love my family to live a bit closer.