There are two sides to everything
Was it really a month? A month or a little over a month since I've written here? Oh well, time flies, especially if it's summer time. Lots have happened over such a short period of time that I found it difficult to choose the subject to write about and was postponing my comeback to the blog world :)
From the pleasant days of last month:
My sister came to visit and we spent a wonderful week together in the Hague and another even more marvelous week in Spain enjoying the sun and the sea. almost purring from pleasure spending whole time on the beach. Doing nothing but swimming, laying on the beach, reading, walking, eating, drinking sangria and basically relaxing reflected extremely good on my sugars. For the whole trip my insulin daily totals decreased by at least 40%! I felt terrific! Vacation - goooood!!!
I had a couple of my first funny pump related encounters at the airports. In Schiphol at the customs:
-"Could you please remove your cell phone from your jeans pocket?"
-"Sorry, I can't. It's not a cell phone, it's a direct line with my pancreas, it must stay open at all times."
At the Palma airport in Spain after beeping at the metal detector.
-"Could you please step over here?" a guy with a hand metal detecting thingy ready to make an extra check and then spotting a clip on my jeans pocket reading "Medtronic MiniMed" (I wear my pump inside the pocket so only the clip is visible). The guard's next question:
-"Diabetica?" Me:
-"Yes" The guard gesturing me to go further without checking me:
-"You can go."
I was a bit surprised at such a knowledgeable reaction after countless times explaining to many people that what I have clipped to my pocket is not a mobile or an mp3.
I'm learning more and more about the pump and it's going really good with it. I love my little blue gadget more and more every day. I've just started to get to know the amazing bolus wizard and there's still some negotiations needed in order to convince it to cooperate but apparently life can be so much easier.
From the not so pleasant days of last month:
My vision suddenly decreased enormously without any obvious reason. One day I just started to see less and less and at some point wasn't even able to read anything from anywhere unless the letters were the size of the billboards' ones.
I've had the retinopathy for the last 2 years already (I totally don't believe those people who say they have diabetes for over 30 years and no complications; they should recheck if they have diabetes in the first place). But so far it was not major and some laser treatment twice a year was doing the trick.
But apparently besides the diabetes I have some other factors effecting my vision (I'm not going to bore you with medical details), which in combination with the diabetes make a deadly serious partnership making me see only 20% with my left eye and 40% with my right eye, which is 50% in total against all the mathematical laws.
That would be half the tragedy for a person without diabetes as there is a surgery available for such a condition, which might help to improve the vision by about 30% but, and of course there is a but, the surgery is not allowed for people with diabetes on account that there is a chance of complete blindness. Is this nightmare ever going to end?
I can't help but think if I'm only 25 now, what's going to be when I'm 35? 45? 55? am I even going to live till then?
Sorry to be coming back with rather negative thoughts, although they are not negative at all, it's only human to be scared, right?
10 comments:
Sasha,
Know that it's okay to be scared. According to your blogs and your profile, you seem to be quite positive about living with diabetes. Keep on keepin' on! And btw, I wish I knew french and dutch too because I am currently in Belgium.
Because of your blog, I thought you might be interested in helping out the organization I work for, the International Diabetes Federation.
We are in the midst of our preparations for the first UN-observed World Diabetes Day (www.worlddiabetesday.org) on 14 November this year, and I wanted to ask you if you would like to help us to spread awareness of this worldwide event and the theme we have chosen for it this year - Diabetes in Children and Adolescents.
It is estimated that over 200 children develop type 1 diabetes every day and there's no question that the disease often hits disadvantaged communities the hardest, and that children in the developing world can die because their parents are unable to afford medication. In many countries diabetes is still considered an adult disease and as a result can be diagnosed late with severe consequences, including death. Even after diagnosis many children experience poor control and develop complications early.
This is why one of our key objectives for World Diabetes Day this year is to double the number of children covered by the Life for a Child Program - http://www.worlddiabetesday.org/go/wdd-2007/life-for-a-child. We also want to encourage initiatives that can help to reduce diabetic ketoacidosis (diabetic coma) and to promote the sort of healthy lifestyles which can prevent the onset of type 2 diabetes in children.
A version of the diabetes circle, the icon we used for our Unite for Diabetes campaign http://www.unitefordiabetes.org/ has now been adopted for World Diabetes Day and we have produced a number of web banners that you can view and download here http://banners.worlddiabetesday.org
The way in which you can help us spread awareness of World Diabetes Day is to add one of the banners to your own blog, which we would really appreciate.
The UN's World Diabetes Day Resolution (61/225) was really just the first goal of an ambitious campaign that we have been leading. This is the first time a non-communicable disease has been recognised as a serious threat to global public health and we are hoping now to further raise awareness globally of the disease that is predicted to contribute to 6% of the world’s mortality in 2007.
If you would like to know more about the UN Resolution and our plans for World Diabetes Day this year, just drop me a line at stephnie.tanner@idf.org and I will get back to you with more information.
Thanks and take care,
Stephanie Tanner
IDF - Communications Assistant
Thanks for your honesty and putting all this in print. I find that writing my fears down lessens the burden of carrying them with me silently. I am praying for you, and each of us, for vision, hope and bright futures.
Keep going! I'm rooting for you!
Thank you Amylia!
hi, i want to write you an email but i cannot find your email. can u write me back at thelifedesigner@gmail.com ? hear from you soon, take care!
May I ask you who you are?
Sry, i dont have a blogger account. My name is Gerald from Malaysia. I have something to discuss with you. I hope to hear from you soon by email. Take care :)
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