Friday, March 16, 2007

I smell smoke

Oh my! I was trying to get on blogger for a week, the posting thing didn't work. There's been quite a lot happening lately, where do I even start?

I have been having so far-out-of-the-normal blood glucose results lately, mostly highs, so high that I need binoculars to see them, and by lately I mean 3 months easy, I can't remember anymore what it's like to be in a normal range and don't feel like total crap all of the time. I've been so exhausted physically and mentally that taking a shower in the morning pretty much exceeds all my energy for the whole day. All is the result of a little bugging phenomena that tends to accumulate and grow in a huge snow ball called stress, none of the doctors I've seen can find any other reason for me feeling like I died yesterday but was not sent the memo. They are all bombarding me with "you have to relax", "take it easy", "rest", "think less" and so on - I'd gladly follow all the advice if only it was that easy.

Well, for the start I'm taking time from work and just trying to rest. A week at home is already helping - almost no headaches and bg slowly climbing down. Apparently, as a diabetic psychiatrist has told me (yes, I'm even seeing one of those now), I'm rushing to live (well can you blame me for that?) and rushing through life to fast for my diabetes to catch up. When I told my endo that I feel like my diabetes is screaming at me to slow down and give some attention to myself, his reaction was "well, someone should". So I'm taking rest, I'm paying attention to myself, I've hit the breaks and now have to learn to relax and think less, huh! good luck with that. When I told my boyfriend the doctor officially announced I'm having a burn-out, he laughed, well I'm still laughing myself, through tears. I'm only 24 for God's sake!

P.S. - my new endo is absolutely great!


Scott K. Johnson said...

It is so much easier said than done. To just "relax". Yeah right?! How?

We often have so many demands and feel like we really need to get them all done.

BUT - if you don't take care of yourself first, it is a recipe for disaster. So, good for you for slowing down a bit. Keep at it and I'm sure you'll start feeling better in no time.

Take care!

cass said...

hmmm... a diabetes psychiatrist. i could use one of those.

relaxing sounds good. we all should go on a vacation!