Monday, December 18, 2006

Nighty night ...

My mom is driving, which is strange, she can’t drive. My sister is in the car as well. It’s night but the moon is very bright. We’re somewhere on the roads of Siberia, I can tell by the forests on the both sides of the road and the enormous amount of snow glittering in the moonlight. So it’s winter.

We stopped on the side of the road and seem to wait for someone or something. I start to feel worried, as it is night and we’re in the middle of nowhere. Suddenly someone knocks on the window on my side, which startled me to death. It’s a woman dressed in a fur coat. She wants to ask us for directions when she’s interrupted by a man in a uniform who has just came by. ‘You have to leave immediately. All of you.’ he tells us. ‘There’s some shooting going on.’

We hurry to leave. Mom tries to get back on the road but it seems she suddenly remembers she can’t drive and she struggles with the car. I realize that it’s probably would be better if I drove and tell her to switch seats with me quickly. Behind the wheel I get us back on the road in a couple of seconds.

The road is icy and I grip the wheel harder. Which way am I supposed to go? Suddenly it hits me, the whole seriousness of the situation, the heaviness of the fact that it is my responsibility to get my mom and my sister alive out of here. The best thing would be to get off the road and hide somewhere in the shadows of the woods but there’re huge snow banks on both sides of the road.

We hear the shooting behind us now and the noise of cars’ engines getting closer. I glance in the rear view mirror. There are two black jeeps behind us racing insanely fast chasing what seems to be us but another glance in the front window and I realize they are chasing another black jeep that suddenly appeared in front of our car.

The men behind us start to shoot again. The men in front of us answer. The razor sharp thought that we are in the middle of the fire makes me turn right instantly and stop on the side of the road not knowing what to do next.

The only thing we can do is get out of the car and hide behind one of the snow banks, which seemed to be enormous before but now totally tiny, not enough to hide us from the eyes of the enemies.

Who are they? What the hell is going on? And why are we in the middle of it and hanging to the last breath of our lives? All this time a big bad dark whole has been growing inside me. This isn’t going to end soon or peaceful. I only wish I was alone. The responsibility for my mom and sis and the inability to do anything to protect them eating me inside out, biting piece by piece. The oppressed feeling is growing.

More men are coming on foot. All of them with guns and shouting, hungry for blood. The situation starts to look even more hopeless as I realize that they just want to kill, no matter who or what, just for the sake of it.

We’re still lying on our stomachs behind the snow bank as quietly as we can. It’s strange I don’t feel cold. Next I see the man in the uniform who happened to be on the road being shot. He screams flying his arms up in the air and falls.

Men are closer. They are running in our direction. It’s too late to try to run. I see a man above me with his gun at my head. Something inside me breaks and I can’t breathe. I hear shots and feel something dull going into my spine. I hear other shots right beside me and realize that the game is over for all three of us.

Men are gone. It’s suddenly all quiet. I’m prepared to die. It’s the feeling of acceptance. No anger, no regret, no fear, no pain … Just patiently waiting for the end, like it’s every day business, like waiting for a bus. Of course it’s a pity life ended so suddenly and so stupidly for no reason, but I’m actually kind of relieved and extremely calm.

No pain. Why don’t I feel pain? I try to feel at all, to feel my body. I’m paralyzed. I can’t move a finger. I can’t turn my head to see mom or sis, but I know they’re right beside me. I can only move my eye leads. Suddenly I feel frozen cold spreading all over my body.

‘Why aren’t we dieing?’ asks mom. ‘It depends on where you got shut’ I am starting to explain and am disguised with my calmness and rationality.

After a while of waiting for the death I get bored and frustrated that it doesn’t come. I wait a bit longer and then decide that if I’m not dieing than I’d better get up and do something. I try to move, but I’m still frozen and don’t feel a muscle. But after a while of convincing my brain that if I’m not dieing I might as well move, I start feeling little by little warmth spreading inside my legs and arms and I slowly get up.

I look around. It looks like a war battlefield. Dead people laying on the ground, red stains on the white snow, some men with guns still running somewhere behind, shouting ‘Killing is fun, come on, join the party!’ or something rather equally disgusting. My head is twirling a little and my feet are not entirely listening to me. I start my way up the road towards what seems like epicenter of all the action.

... the dream, as you guessed it was a dream, or rather a nightmare, goes on for another three good chapters at least, but I'm already exhausted writing this part. The rest of it though gets even more crazy involving an office of a secret service kind of agency, first located in a tropical tree (and as you remember I was in Siberia), and then it magically relocates on space ship with a nice view on a backdoor parking lot of some office located in Belgium. Don't ask me why.

I dream all kind of weird stuff all the time. Sometimes it's very tiring and sometimes I wake up and the real life seems so dull. On the other occasions I'm glad I'm actually alive or not convicted of a witch craft in the middle ages or that world war four hasn't started yet.

1 comment:

Scott said...

Wow! Quite a dream there!