Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Broken

Broken believes are very difficult and close to impossible to fix. A broken branch doesn't grow back to the tree. All that is said afterwards, and it's a lot, would be very comforting and reassuring be my believes in the words still in place, but now they just noise, now they just words on the sand washed off by the waves the minute they've been written down.

You say: "It's not necessary", you say: "You don't want to hurt me", you say ... , you say and that's it. As soon as the words are out, they vanish in the thin air and don't reappear, there's nothing to prove that they were even said. A seed of hope, of believe, of wish to believe, they plant every time, dies almost immediately. Waiting, holding my breath that, yes this is the time, this time you're not just saying, this time you're actually going to try to make it true, and every time bitter disappointment. There is a limit till when I am willing to believe that this time is different. Empty promises, they like soup bubbles, pretty and shiny but burst the second you touch them.

At some point "sorry" also loses its power and meaning. There is only a number of times in a particular length of time that that word works and is actually true.

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