Monday, January 22, 2007

Happy flies hunting

What is determining the good mood? Actually so little is needed to push you from the sunny smiley state of mind into a rainy grumpy miserable disaster, which seems to stick to you like super-glue and refuses to be shaken off by any amount of kindness, jokes or good news thrown at you. The line is so thin and easy to cross from sunny to rainy but so damn hard to cross it back. It's like some stubborn little but very annoying creature inside you took to like it on the dark side, in its comfort of shadows and loneliness, where there is no need for excuses for the nastiness and bad temper. It's too hard to be on the sunny side all the time. Ya it's indeed warm and comfy and lots of fun but you're always in the light, there is no shadows or quiet dark corners to hide in when you feel down or not like smiling or just need a break and a quiet peaceful moment to yourself. There's nowhere to hide your weaknesses, they are like in a spotlight - you have to be a Dream-Ville-Hollywood-smile-looking-perfect all the time on the sunny side. It's impossible to be happy and feel good all the time. It's necessary to allow yourself to be sad sometimes and it's not a crime to be tired or upset or disappointed or just feel like crying. Am I making sense?

But what is determining the good mood? Because the good mood is so powerful, it's a shiny shield against all the bad and gray around. It's not going to save you from the blow but at least it will decrease the impact. What I realized is that there are such tiny things, little mundane things that drop by drop fill up the jar, the meter of happiness. A phone conversation with my sister, an email from a friend, a sunny day (they're almost extinct in the Netherlands), the kitten finally eating even if it's a little bit, a favorite song on the radio, and of course, the major, the master, the top mood booster, the one that makes your good mood meter jump up a few extra points, the ultimate for all the diabetics - good blood glucose reading.

Seems easy, huh? to fill your day with those easy good-mood-boosting things to make yourself feel ecstasy-high the whole day? Well, not so easy. The trick is to outbalance all the nasty stinking bad things buzzing towards you, and for each tiny unexpected wasp of good-mood-poison you need at least ten little happy flies. Well my schedule is busy already, no spare time to go hunting for the happy flies. So what's the solution or rather a conclusion? It's to stay open for all the happy flies generously sent to you by the close and love ones in our lives and try to keep your eyes open to find as many as you can yourself, as they are everywhere, you just have to look carefully to spy their tiny little glittering wings and shiny eyes.


Chrissie in Belgium said...

Such a nice post. As you point out it is so hard to be on the sunny side all the tume and it is so difficult to pass from the sad to the sunny side, that dam little annoying creature that decides he likes it so much better on the dark side. Your approach is SO right - appreciate the nice little things that bounce your way. Try at least.

julia said...

Sometimes I'm happy for the dark moods, the black dog of depression and sadness because it makes me appreciate those shiny moods with their glittery wings so much more. My baby grinning at me, my two year-old running to me for hugs, my 12 year-old snuggling with me on the couch, my husband making me coffee in the morning. They make me feel happy and content and fulfilled. And that makes the dark days easier to bear.

MileMasterSarah said...

Sometimes it is all in perspective. Perceiving all the goodness in the world around you, or focusing in on the bad. There is some of both. We only have so long. Do you want to be happy or unhappy in the short time you have here?

Scott K. Johnson said...

I really appreciated this post - in that I generally don't think eating flies is a good thing, but I'm grinning just thinking about those happy flies!!

Thank you!

Sandra Miller said...

This was a terrific post, Sasha.

Feels like I just found myself one of those happy flies. :-)

Sasha said...

Thank you all so much! I really appreciate you reading and all your comments.

Chrissie: The right approach is the start, right? So I'll keep on trying.

Julia: You're so right. If there were not shadows we would not appreciate the light.

Sarah: Definitely happy, definitely happy. That's actually my goal in life.

Scott: I'm not a wild-meat eating person either :) but I'm sure glad I made you smile.

Sandra: I'm glad you did and I wish you many more :)